On bias in adoption

Likely every day people have sex without being asked about their gender preferences, living situation, income, level of education and age. Why not? Because it would be discriminating. And so are many standards on adoption.

Why does this matter?

I found myself wondering, whether I would consider an adoption. I was single and I thought I had a safe yet small apartment, I was getting more concious with myself, I lived in a safe environment. Yet I was not too sure on what my job would look like when my contract might end in 2022, I wasn’t sure how I would manage alone, whether my part-time salary was enough and I wasn’t sure how to combine raising a child with my interests. At the same time I thought it must be doable. Particular in Germany, there is various child-support from the government and also civil society initatives.

Single parents, can be great parents.

I began informing myself on adoption and the adoption process. I quickly found myself in a bizarr world on parental requirements and bias. For instance, adoption shouldn’t happen later then the age of 40, and adoption is favored for married couples, there should be enough space for the child (like a single room), the income should be high enough and the employment status permanent. I thought, well that might then take a long time for me to adopt someone, since I don’t qualify for most of these criteria in Germany. I looked further into that, and found that for instance in China someone to adopt should be female and/or have a high school degree. And puh, so many other criteria around the world.

To give an idea on the diversity and many biases on adoption.

I stopped reserching more, because it got me thinking about the family image, what constitutes as ideals of living and how certain ways of being or certain ways societal images, shape the image of love and the ability to care. The ability to qualify as “ideal foster parent“. One could think that someone with a stable income provides stability and a single room for a child provides love and affection. Or that still two parents are needed (of different genders), ideally married, to provide a child with a healthy development. It is not the case.

These are symbols of certain ways of being that somehow managed to be perceived as “ideal”. They are not, because it does not say much about how the child is being nurtured. Instead they are symbols that remove the opportunities for adoption of a child that otherwise may continue to live in poverty, that may be stuck in a foster system being send in and out of different homes, a child that may no longer learn or get to know stability, so that as adults it may not know what stability means either.

Money does not buy love. Time sometimes does, affection, support. Of course it’s not exclusive.

When we talk about systems-change for sustainability, we also have to talk about perception. How a donation to an orphanage in one way may provide food for a day (which is important), but how when we talk about longevity of solutions – the sustainability-, a short donation won’t sustain. What does sustain is a change in processes and a change in the perception of cultural practices including belief systems; that being that singles, gays, and those above 40, or “1 room flatters”, very much can qualify as nurturing parent as much as those who fit the criteria.

References

Linkedin Conversation

Conversation with gay friends

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Erase your face – a social dimension on sustainability

I am almost 30 years old and when I look into the mirrow, I recognize those small and yet growing wrinkles on my face. They were always there, just very small, but lately I feel they appear in greater depth. And so there are other bodily changes that manifest themselves on my skin. Those are some changes in my hair structure, some hair gets frizzier and thicker then it used to be and eventually my teeth aren’t as shiny bright white as they used to be before my mornings began with a cup of coffee routine. [My teeth appear whiter on the image below, because I assume that thats an integrated function of my and nowadays everyones phone…]

I love smiling and yet in the past I was asked not too smile too much, because the wrinkles next to my eyes would not look good; they would make me look older. Well here, super smile.

While I am usually very happy with myself and any wonderful changes my body undergoes as I age, I felt that I needed a boost last week. Suprisingly that appears to be the result of me researching sustainable and circular business models for the fashion industry and hence, scanning fashion magazines, social media posts and anything related to beauty and fashion for weeks. Though I feel I am quite robust against these type of “influences”, somehow they began tickling my interest for a wardrope change and beauty tuning.

I initially goodled eye-brow trends for fun. Apparently its a serious thing!

I hadn’t been very curious about the paradox of modern beauty in a while and yet I felt it was time to rekindle with that type of interest that I happily persued as a teen. However, this interest quickly stopped as I went through the beautyshelves in one store. What caught my interest was the advertisement of a make-up remover titled with ” Erase your face”.

Earsing… when I think about erasing I thought of school or any other moment in my life, when I wrote something that later was not important or something that I wrote by mistake or something that needed to be erased to be corrected, or just was not supposed to be there at all. My face.. when I think about my face I think about my identity, those natural eyebrows I have, any unique facial feature that turns me into that woman I am today, any interaction I have and any interpretation that others associate to me , when they see my face. But erasing my face? NO WAY!!!

Of course, the commercial does not mean for anyone to truly erase their face, but this type of advertisement can give people the feeling that their current look is not enough; that the way they truly are is not enough. And in doing so, it removes that sort of identity that makes you – you and me-me.

The advertisment made me skip then more through other shelves and my desire to tune my face a little bit, turned into a social-cultural dilemma. It made me realize how heavily beauty industries are pushing new beauty standards and norms to sell their product, that the product in itself, becomes a burden and supports a crisis of identity – the ability that the self is not enough; that you need to smell a certain way, that you need to look a certain way, that you need to be a certain way to be accepted.

Wouldn’t it be more fun, if companies would promote products that promote that natural you? And what responsiblities have beauty companies to begin with? Should they tell you how to look or should you tell them how you want to feel like and thus, how products could help you? Should they promote creams and products that help your skin to be protected such as from the cold and heat, soaps and shampoos that support your hygiene instead of “sparkly, wrinklesless perfect skin ” ?

Sustainability is not just about the ecology

Sustainability is not just about ecological products, it is about sustainable production and consumption patterns, it is about a system change that crosses the interface of social, ecological and economic dimensions. If our own identity was promoted more, we would not feel like we needed to consume so much and so often and likewise, companies could possibly produce less, with higher quality and higher standards. There would be more happiness, less waste and ideally fairer environmental and social conditions to which goods and services are being produced.

And besides all, isn’t individuallity what makes us truly unique and human? And thinking about it, so far I was not rejected for a job because my eyebrows weren’t trendy enough.. I think I want to keep it that way and you should too!

Being myself, also gives you the opportunity to see me for who I am.