You – yes, you. You are always there, not just sometimes, but for me always. For some people you are rarely there, in furthest proximity, but for me – you are always there. I am lucky to have you around – almost always.
I am one of the lucky once also, because I get to know you in many different forms and whenever we encounter each other, you have this unique effect on me. Its how you make me feel, but also how you present yourself. In different forms and shapes and sometimes you are cute to advertise yourself. You are so colourful and that makes you so tempting. You make me full-filled. Sometimes, however, I feel you are too much, you take on too many forms and shapes and sometimes I feel you are overhwelming me. I get stressed and sometimes I want to run away from it and your toxic effects on me also; however, I need you. Yet, what part of you?
I started having doughts about our relationship a while ago, probably around 1910, even before you became industrialized. I wondered, whether your influence was the right one for me and whether spending time with your becomming too-muchness, was the right choice – if I even had a choice. Around that time being there for me and my friends was not enough anymore; you felt like you needed to be more and better. But you lost yourself and so did I lose myself with you, because I needed and still need you. I couldn’t focus well anymore and I felt I needed that new morning rush of sweetness and evening taste of salitness; that I didn’t know about before you became more. What did I knew about its effect on my health and also my friends who you managed to influence so well…
I wonder how we got there, why you felt like you needed to be more. It was first about proofing yourself, but as you became more, you became more recognized and you liked it. You thought you made new friends also, but they wanted to profit from you. They changed you, they experimented with you. They diversified you so much, that the quality of you being there decreased and the purpose of you-being you got lost. Of course you got trapped and I feel you; you felt locked-in and you still do. “Friends” promoted and changed you; it would be difficult to go back. You build your new network all around you and this network now depends on you as well.
And here I am fighting for you with others; Reminding you that the you before you wanted to become more has always been enough for me and us; enough to make me happy, enough to make me feel strong, enough to feel powerful and enough to boost every cell of my body. And knowing that, I hope it will make you shrink back to who you were before, before 2000; before you were genetically modified, sprayed with pesticides to grow and before you turned into a chemical soup and before most of all, you were going to be someone hardly reconizable anymore.
Just the way you are, you are perfect to me and everyone. And you don’t have to be there for me always with all your energy. But I need you and I am happy with occassional diversity. And.. I want the real you- not the processed you; the you that flourishes with the change of season and the you in local proximity.